Nights Like These
by kidscanfly
Summary: An invitation out of the rain enables Shikamaru to talk about things on his mind with Hinata. After Hidan/Kakuzu arc. Shikahina if you squint. Oneshot.


**A morbid shikahina oneshot because I seem to be in a rather sullen mood...**

The air was stale, if not miserably morbid. A layer of fog hung over Konoha, as strange as it was during this time of year. Shikamaru was inclined to this weather when he was in a similar mood, and so it didn't really bother him at the moment. To be honest, it hadn't bothered him for a while.

He took a long drag at his cigarette, and blinked slowly as he felt the rain start to pour.

Shikamaru jumped off the roof he'd posted himself at, and with a heavy sigh, headed towards his apartment, hoping to keep himself together until he was out of sight, though he was sure no one would ever see his tears when it was raining…

He lived near Kurenai, to be in close contact with her incase she had a problem. Her child was going to be due soon, and he wasn't going to take any chances. He kicked a rock as he listened to the light pattering of water on hard dirt. It was like listening to footsteps. The light of his cigarette sparkled to life for a moment, before dying down again. He didn't really care. Another life easily snuffed was all it was. What could he possibly due to stop those innocent days from fading away completely? All of the rookie nine were suddenly facing bigger problems, and sensei's were dying. Why must they be forced to take their teacher's place so soon?

"Shikamaru!"

He glanced to his left, and through the fog and constant onslaught of water, he could see a figure emerging from one of the doors to a small apartment. He squinted, and was surprised to see that the person was Hinata Hyuuga. He turned to face her.

"Shikamaru, come on in! There's a storm coming! You might not make it to your place in time!"

"Ah, be right there!" he replied, though the words came out as if they were tired and unhappy. She must have heard his tone, because a worry line appeared on her forehead.

"I didn't know you moved out of the Hyuuga Compound…" Shikamaru said as he approached her door, wiping his feet on her welcoming mat thoroughly. She shrugged, a small smile forming on her lips. "It's happened very recently. I've… been denounced as heiress." The young man turned to face her in surprise, but his face straightened after a moment. "I'm so sorry, Hinata,"

"Oh, it's quite alright," she whispered, her smile growing wider, but seemingly more forced, "I think of it as a burden lifted off my shoulders. Deep down I'm very grateful." She closed the door behind them, just as a flash of lightning and a loud clap of thunder shook the building. Her apartment was small and cozy, with a bigger kitchen than living room. There were only two other doors, which he guessed were the bathroom and bedroom. It was overall very plain, and she hadn't yet put anything up to really make it look like her "home".

"W-Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you, Hinata,"

That sat on her small couch in silence, and before long, Shikamaru felt as if he shouldn't have come in at all. Obviously his damped mood was rubbing off on her. Another flash of lightning quelled his thoughts of leaving though.

"How are you, Shikamaru?" he heard her ask quietly, almost a whisper. He didn't really feel like answering; even he didn't know how he felt. It was rather stupid and troublesome all around. But…

"I feel like I've died, Hinata,"

She looked at him with her white bottomless eyes, and he felt as if he might fall into them if he stared at them too long. He looked at the ground instead, not wanting to be analyzed too closely, for he was sure she was doing just that. They sat in silence for another minute, before he started to feel antsy again.

"It was just… so sudden," he finally said, barely audible. She didn't make any movements to show she had heard, but he continued anyway. "It's like he was there, right in front of me… and suddenly he had vanished. I feel like he's left me. And Kurenai. And his baby." He pressed his palms to his eyes, clenching his teeth, biting into the cigarette to leave an awful taste in his mouth.

"I've thought about it for a long time now," he muttered, a chocked sound escaping with his words, "And I have to wonder… what's so noble about being a shinobi? How can you being a shinobi great when… when you die and leave behind so many people? People who are depending on you to stay alive…" He glanced at her, and realized she had not moved. She was stone still, not even shivering from the sudden chill that overtook the room.

"That child in Kurenai's belly," Shikamaru whispered, "Will grow up without ever knowing his father. He'll hear about him, and he'll grow to think of me as his brother, and Kurenai as his mother, and he will have many friends, I'm sure. But he will not have a father. That was Asuma's job. And now it is no one's. Abandoning your duties to an unborn child… is not noble. It's horrible."

"The same way that killing innocent people is not noble," He turned his head slightly to see her face, but she had turned to face the clouded window. The rain was coming down hard now. Thunder could be heard overhead. All he could hear or see was the rain in the window…

"So many people have died, Shikamaru," she said, still refusing to turn toward him. Her long indigo hair fell gracefully over her shoulder and down hair back, and Shikamaru could not help but trace the thin strands with his eyes.

"So many people… we know personally… have fallen all in the name of being a shinobi. But I wonder… why did we choose this path in the first place? Was it… even a choice?" Snapping his attention back to her words, Shikamaru looked at the floor again, letting the burnt out cigarette fall from his lips into his waiting palm.

"This is the world we were born in, Hinata. And this world belongs to shinobi. Thus, that is what we, and everyone we know, were destined to become. Assassins who will defeat and terminate honorable men, holy women, and steal in the name of a lord we know nothing about. In this world, that is what noble is, no matter how wrong it seems."

Hinata turned her face forward, a slow movement of the neck. She sighed heavily, before turning to him. "Do you think… those who have died alongside us are happy they they've left this world the way they did." Shikamaru's lips turned into a bitter smile, and he crushed the used cigarette in his hand as he made a fist.

"No," he said darkly, "I'm sure they're not happy at all."

They sat quietly together for what seemed like hours to Shikamaru, until she shifted her position to look out the window again. Her hair decided to fall to one side, leaving her neck exposed as she watched the rain fall. Shikamaru stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out what she might be thinking. He traced to line of her neck like he had done her hair, and his eyes followed the curve of her shoulder, down her sleeve to her small, delicate hands. They were pale, but looked soft and untainted. They were pure, clean hands, so unlike his own. He had killed many men beside Asuma on many missions, and it had all been second nature. He was sure Hinata had done just the same alongside Kurenai and her team. To question what they had become at this point… was perhaps more futile than trying to stop the death of comrades.

"Hinata…" He took hold of her shoulder and spun her around to face him, examining her surprised face. "Let us protect the future generation from making the same mistakes so many shinobi have made. We cannot stop them from being shinobi, but we can keep them from straying down the path of darkness and inner turmoil. We shall be noble… in this way, if not in the way of the shinobi." She stared at him, and he felt like her eyes were engulfing him, drawing him in. "Yes, let's do that, Shikamaru," she said gently, genuine hope filling her face. She looked to the window as the sound of rain seemed to fade away at a sluggish pace. "There is much we can prevent from happening in the future," She stood.

Shikamaru almost reached out to grab her sleeve as she began to walk towards the window, but thought better of it. Instead, he followed her to the window, where the both looked out to see the rain stopping. Again, he had to stop himself from latching onto her sleeve, or holding her hand. He would hold his own until he got home, and then he'd let it all out.

"I think you can make it to your apartment now, probably…" Hinata said gently, smiling shyly at him. He nodded, opening her front door. He felt a small hand grab touch his sleeve, and he looked back at her, hoping she would say something. Anything to relieve this intense pressure he was feeling. She didn't say a word, but instead gave him a tight squeeze of a hug, her small fingers burying themselves into his chuunin vest. "We'll get through this, Shikamaru. There is a goodness waiting for us to find it at the end of this journey. And all of us, the entire rookie nine, will find it together with the future generations." He hugged her back, lightly, and felt the urge to lay his chin on her head, or stroke her hair in comfort, but he wouldn't overstep his bounds. At least, not today.

He released her, and she bowed in thanks.

"You're welcome any time, Shikamaru,"

Taking out a dry, unused cigarette, he smiled back at her as he stepped into the already drying soil. "I'll be counting on that,"

**Peace.**


End file.
